It was too easy;
the lies rolled off your tongue
like flooded waters.
Something once peaceful
now a messy nuisance.
The water expands,
the salt corrodes,
everything is damaged in its wake.
Some days, I’m not even fully sure what the human experience is supposed to be like. Why are we blessed with these brains that don’t serve us to our higher potential?Sometimes I misspeak words, overthink things, get distracted, criticize myself, worry, stress, complicate things, forget.
But I have to stay motivated, keep myself focused and remember to be kind to myself, because it’s hard. I’m no longer in my twenties and I think life is finally starting to break me down a little bit. Even though I try not to let it.
I have to believe that I can manifest greatness in my life, but I have to be an active participant; I can’t just wait for it to happen.
Shot by me in Central Park, New York
Shot by me, Brooklyn Bridge – Brooklyn, New York
Thank you for being you,
for unknowingly being a muse,
for cracking through my somewhat tough exterior.
Thank you for believing in me, for encouraging me to be more active about things I was passive about.
I’m still a work in progress, sometimes I fall off, but I think about what you’d say to me if you saw me slacking off.
Shot by me in Prospect Park, Brooklyn
Shot by me in Chinatown, NYC
An ombré of yellow into grey,
lightning bolts pierce the sky.
Flashes of light,
heavy water droplets thrown from the heavens,
clouds clash and the grounds rumble.
It’s a summer storm,
one of the best kinds.
Pic taken by me, Brooklyn New York
It was thick and opaque like fog rolling in overnight.
A silent killer, eating me away inside;
I didn’t even realize –
My heart was hardening.
Mind always racing, pacing, thinking.
A paralyzing anxiety.
Don’t let self-doubts get in the way of fully achieving your desires.
Be fluid, like water.
Pic taken by me at Prospect Park, Brooklyn.
Speaking the language of pain,
longing to be accepted and loved.
Fighting this battle has become a pastime,
Engaging in scenarios that trigger fears, anxieties, insecurities.
Throwing herself into the mix with dysfunctional characters
who can’t get past their silly egos;
their fragile self-perceptions.
But you know, maybe it’s her,
Maybe it’s because she’s broken.
Life and death,
everything is so transient.
Pic taken by me in Greenwood Cemetery, Brooklyn NY
A title can never dictate how the heart feels.
Nor does it define a relationship.
It can’t rationalize the bullshit swept under the rug.
Titles, formalities, ceremonies – seemingly emphasized more than the quality of the relationship.
What happens when the ceremony that’s supposed to usher you into a life of partnered stability, protection, and safety causes distress?
When the vows and foundation are broken,
when heartache sprouts like weeds through concrete.
Pic taken by me in Brooklyn, New York
There’s something about the way you observe people,
you notice the little things;
it intrigues me.
Pic taken by me, Prospect Park
Though I’ve been reckless and selfish,
our memories are engrained in my mind.
Your tender words have been inscribed on my heart;
Perhaps they were lies,
Perhaps it was the truth that you were too afraid to accept;
I hope it’s the latter, no matter how dangerous that may be.
Shot by me, NYC.
Shrouded in darkness, the overbearing weight of negativity
creeping in like the fog that rolls in overnight.
A silent killer,
eating at me from the inside.
In no time,
I got lost in the dense, opaqueness
All the thoughts in my mind,
A wolf in sheep’s clothing,
that’s what he was.
Every now and then you questioned his sincerity,
claiming to be soft and tender like the sheep,
yet he stepped on you with paws,
encased talons ripped your heart to shreds.
When aggravated or displeased,
he gnarled like an angry wolf,
ready to pounce;
willing to taste your blood on his tongue.
Not simply a malcontent,
a completely different animal.
You reached for him.
In a moment’s notice,
pulled off his cloak,
unsheathed his identity.
He recoiled in cowardice,
He wanted to disappear.
Shot by me at Queens County Farm.
Leave when there’s nothing left to lose.
Eventually, you’ll lose your sanity.
Your conscious burdened,
like heavy snowfall on tree branches.
Seems to be more than just a feeling, a lifestyle.
Pic taken by me on Fulton Street by South Street Seaport, NYC.
Bombarded by those thoughts,
a war zone inside my head.
Bombs go off,
stand tall like a soldier;
I want to fall down and cry.