I saw the light with you;
but also saw the underworld.
We plunged into the darkness,
ventured into the unknown.
Something about it was so beautifully scary;
But it was time to take a break,
to embrace the light again.
You made your home in the darkness,
established your throne.
You know just what I want to hear.
You say all of the right things to me
but what are words without actions
The definition of sweet nothings.
Torrential rain slaps against the window,
lighting strikes and the thunder crackles through the night sky.
It’s all so clear now.
He sleeps in the living room where they once shared a life.
my quiet and melancholy nature doesn’t always mean something is brewing beneath the surface.
It’s June 6th;
the first night I hear sounds of summer.
Crickets chirp outside as I try to sleep
but my mind is racing.
Photo captured by me, NYC.
Sadness is my friend, my foe.
Sometimes I can sit with it and let it be.
Other times it bubbles to the surface and boils over,
leaving a mess in its wake.
I let myself be consumed by it,
rather than fighting the urge to control it.
Photo taken by me at Green-Wood Cemetery in Brooklyn, NY.
Been spending time in the shadow as of late.
Not sure what forces are at play,
but there’s been a shift somewhere, something is unsettled.
Feelings are just that, feelings.
It’s also because of them, that we do the things we do.
It’s because of our feelings, our desires for one another,
that we hope to execute shared dreams;
that we invest and feed each other’s souls.
What do we do when it all seems to be in jeopardy?
When you wonder if it was all an illusion?
You lied to me; I lied to myself.
Perhaps it is me.
I’m my own worst enemy.
Pic shot by me in Prospect Park, Brooklyn.
So much time spent trying to represent strength, because of fear.
Fear of being vulnerable; that somehow vulnerability equates to weakness.
Strength also means being receptive, understanding that emotions are messy and complex.
We’re human beings with a penchant for making things harder than they need to be.
Photo captured by me at Domino Park, Williamsburg.
We all need a support system.
Sometimes we shut down and need to be alone;
sometimes we need the support of our loved ones.
Even if we don’t want to ask.
The ones who care about our well being,
our mental states.
Those who may not always agree with what we do,
but are there to listen to the troubles that keep us up at night.
Even if they give you advice that you don’t take,
they’re still there for you;
that’s what friends do.
They’re there for the good and the bad;
even if you end up making poor decisions,
they will be there because they love you.
They respect that your life is yours to live,
they understand their own shortcomings
and stay around to see you make it to the other side,
to help congratulate you when you overcome it all.
And you’re ever so thankful that they didn’t give up on you.
Shot by me in Crown Heights, Brooklyn
A young girl from Queens,
Central Park was my playground.
E, F, and R trains, with direct routes to Midtown,
placing you at the entrance or within walking distance.
Climbing up and down monstrous rocks and boulders,
quite a feat for a child-
Rollerblading on paved park streets of concrete,
swerving in and out of big orange cones.
All weekend hobbies of mine.
Taking breaks between classes,
During four years at Fordham University –
my alma a few blocks away, at Lincoln Center.
Central Park, it was my campus.
Walking through the park with
Friends, family, and lovers,
Walking through the park to work,
Part-time gig a few blocks away on
5th Avenue, New York’s tourist trap
and shopping strip.
Central Park reminds me of my youth,
of my young adulthood,
of my strong connection to the New York
that raised me.
Shot by me in Central Park, New York
It was too easy;
the lies rolled off your tongue
like flooded waters.
Something once peaceful
now a messy nuisance.
The water expands,
the salt corrodes,
everything is damaged in its wake.
Some days, I’m not even fully sure what the human experience is supposed to be like. Why are we blessed with these brains that don’t serve us to our higher potential?Sometimes I misspeak words, overthink things, get distracted, criticize myself, worry, stress, complicate things, forget.
But I have to stay motivated, keep myself focused and remember to be kind to myself, because it’s hard. I’m no longer in my twenties and I think life is finally starting to break me down a little bit. Even though I try not to let it.
I have to believe that I can manifest greatness in my life, but I have to be an active participant; I can’t just wait for it to happen.
Shot by me in Central Park, New York
Thank you for being you,
for unknowingly being a muse,
for cracking through my somewhat tough exterior.
Thank you for believing in me, for encouraging me to be more active about things I was passive about.
I’m still a work in progress, sometimes I fall off, but I think about what you’d say to me if you saw me slacking off.
Shot by me in Prospect Park, Brooklyn
It was thick and opaque like fog rolling in overnight.
A silent killer, eating me away inside;
I didn’t even realize –
My heart was hardening.
Mind always racing, pacing, thinking.
A paralyzing anxiety.
Don’t let self-doubts get in the way of fully achieving your desires.
Be fluid, like water.
Pic taken by me at Prospect Park, Brooklyn.
Speaking the language of pain,
longing to be accepted and loved.
Fighting this battle has become a pastime,
Engaging in scenarios that trigger fears, anxieties, insecurities.
Throwing herself into the mix with dysfunctional characters
who can’t get past their silly egos;
their fragile self-perceptions.
But you know, maybe it’s her,
Maybe it’s because she’s broken.
via Daily Prompt: Broken
Life and death,
everything is so transient.
Pic taken by me in Greenwood Cemetery, Brooklyn NY
A title can never dictate how the heart feels.
Nor does it define a relationship.
It can’t rationalize the bullshit swept under the rug.
Titles, formalities, ceremonies – seemingly emphasized more than the quality of the relationship.
What happens when the ceremony that’s supposed to usher you into a life of partnered stability, protection, and safety causes distress?
When the vows and foundation are broken,
when heartache sprouts like weeds through concrete.
Pic taken by me in Brooklyn, New York
via Daily Prompt: Ceremony
Though I’ve been reckless and selfish,
our memories are engrained in my mind.
Your tender words have been inscribed on my heart;
Perhaps they were lies,
Perhaps it was the truth that you were too afraid to accept;
I hope it’s the latter, no matter how dangerous that may be.
Shot by me, NYC.